Laughing in the Sun

When I decided to build a deck off the back of my house last summer, the overriding intent I had in mind was to create an outdoor room, one that had the coziness of an interior room, yet outside in the open to the air. This would be no screened-in facsimile. If a breeze was in the air, I wanted to feel it on my face.

With that in mind, I have begun using the space as a meditative spot, a place where I can become more attentive, just capturing small moments of beauty to consider and appreciate. In the mornings, for instance, I will simply sit and soak up the sounds all around, the birds singing their songs to the world, or watch the graceful swaying of leaves and branches as they converse with the breeze.

Since I’m out there most every evening, it should be no surprise that I have started to use it as a music room as well, particularly while trying to discover new songs or bands that may have escaped my notice. One recent discovery has been David Crosby’s “Laughing”, from his first solo album, “If Only I Could Remember My Name”, released in 1971. I’ve known about the album for a few years now after hearing a really cool song titled “The Cowboy Movie”, but “Laughing” snuck by me until just recently.

Crosby, of course, was a master at harmonies, and is even in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice, first as a member of the “The Byrds” and then with “Crosby Stills and Nash.” Vocally, each band focused on tight, inventive harmonies, so it’s no surprise that his first solo album would exploit his gift at it.

Unsurprisingly,  most of the songs on the album are acoustic based, but on this particular song he brought in “The Grateful Dead” as his backing musicians, with Gerry Garcia on steel guitar. Yet the centerpiece of the song, vocally speaking, is the bridge, “I was mistaken….”, which is sung in a tight, melodic harmony that effectively dominates the song. It’s only three word, but it strikes my ears as being such a natural melody that he likely had it in his head for some time and was simply waiting for a lyrical direction to come along to complete it. And then it arrived

I thought I met a man
Who said he knew a man
Who knew what was going on

I was mistaken
It was only another stranger
That I knew

I thought that I’d found the light
To guide me through my night
And all this darkness

I was mistaken
It was only a reflection of a shadow
That I saw

And I thought that I’d seen someone
Who seemed at last
To know the truth

I was mistaken
It was only a small child
Laughing in the sun

While casually listening to it this past week, those lyrics began to speak out and grab my attention, particularly how it exposes the vain attempt to find life’s answers from someone or something else, and not from ourselves. The first two verses were easy enough to decipher, but that last verse just didn’t sit right, because it seemed to be the answer that the narrator was searching for. I was confused me, and that simply will not do.

So, as I will do, I went searching….. and came across the song’s backstory and found the answer, and what I learned surprised me. Crosby knew and was friends with each of the Beatles at the time, but found George Harrison to be a truly gentle soul.

“I was very taken with George. I like him a lot. He was very friendly to me. He invited me over to his house. We had dinner together and we talked a lot. Paul was very friendly to me, John and Ringo were very friendly, but the one that I had a relationship with was George.”

George was also known to be the most “religious” of the Beatles, and by that I mean as someone who genuinely wants to know life’s purpose. At one point, George told him that he met an Indian teacher, a guru (Maharishi Mahesh), and was completely sold on him, and quickly became something of an evangelist, spreading the word to everyone he came in contact with, which included his new friend, David Crosby.

But Crosby was a sceptic by nature and was not a believer in any tradition, so it became a delicate balance for him as he didn’t want to offend his new friend. This is how Crosby described it.

“I don’t believe in God and I’m not really a big fan or religion – any of them……Buddhism isn’t exactly a religion. It’s a philosophy, and I did not want to come off like a snot to my new friend, who I really respected hugely, so I didn’t say anything.”

But then added, “But I had it in my head: ‘Take it with a grain of salt. Don’t just accept it at face value. So, I wrote that song to tell him that.”

So, let’s quickly break down the three verses, which exposes Crosby’s clear intent for the tune. Here is the first verse and bridge again.

I thought I met a man
Who said he knew a man
Who knew what was going on

I was mistaken
It was only another stranger
That I knew

This is clearly aimed at the “guru” mentioned by Harrison, meaning the search for someone who had the answers, someone you believe ‘knows what’s going on’, and learn what was needed from them….. but in that approach, Crosby is telling us straight out that you would be “mistaken”. The second verse does the same, this time aiming at religion.

I thought that I’d found the light
To guide me through my night
And all this darkness

I was mistaken
It was only a reflection of a shadow
That I saw

Then comes the money verse, which Crosby intended to be his own response to the question at hand.

And I thought that I’d seen someone
Who seemed at last
To know the truth

I was mistaken
It was only a small child
Laughing in the sun

What had confused me earlier concerning this last verse was that I was being too literal, too locked into the actual wording, because he referred to the child playing in the sun as being another mistake, but that was not his intent. What I failed to see was the bridge “I was mistaken” could not be altered to accommodate that last verse without ruining the structure of the song. That phrase is the foundation of the song and could not be altered. My initial intuition was correct, but I was being too literal minded. Listen to it (below) and you’ll understand. Crosby wanted… and expected us to see past that to catch his true intent. This is Crosby describing it in 2022, shortly before his death.

“I wrote that song to tell him (Harrison) that the person I thought was the wisest I had met was a child laughing at the sun. And that I thought I could learn more from that child laughing at the sun than I could from anyone’s teaching.”

Well put my man.

Click the album art to hear this beautiful song.