The Moth and a Nearly Lost Moment

So, check this one out. A little earlier in the evening I wrapped up writing in my journal, specifically working on an essay concerning a scene from the movie “Avatar” that I wrote in 2010, but never quite finished to my satisfaction. It has literally sat 90% completed for more than a decade, so my intention revolved around pushing the proverbial can a little further down the road with the hope of finally finishing it. That journal entry centered on a uniquely allegorical scene that stunned me into a deeply poignant reflection that has remained with me ever since.

In the scene, a number of jellyfish-like…. things, each glowing with a beautifully translucent light, were floating in the air and began descending around the young protagonist, Sully, and were apparently attempting to “check him out”, since he was a new presence in their environment. At first, he swatted them away as they got too close, but was sternly rebuked by the Navi Princess, who told him they were seeds from the “Tree of Souls” and were “gentle spirits” and that it was a good omen if they respond well to someone. When he attempted to overreact yet again, she was adamant and demanded that he relax. Well right on cue, once Sully allowed the moment unfold naturally, he held out his arms and suddenly dozens of floating seeds began landing all over him, illuminating him in a magical glow. In the essay, I described my reaction to the scene as expressing how I define spirituality, which is not a religious distinction at all, but rather as an openness to a sense of wonder.

The key point there being that he initially brought his default mode thinking to what appeared to him was an unknown, where his reflexes simply reacted instinctually. He sensed an unknown object getting too close and quickly categorized it as a potential threat, or at least something to avoid. In this case, the seeds got too close, and he wanted them to back-off. It was only after being forced to relax (to reconsider) that the scene was allowed to play out as it was meant to, which ultimately led to an illuminating, and to my definition, a spiritual moment.

Before proceeding, allow me to add one additional ingredient to the mix here. Last year I began to occasionally meditate outside at dusk on many summer evenings. Sounds can be a point of focus in meditation just as easily as the breath, so one evening I gave it a whirl. I softly shut my eyes and simply focused all my concentration on all the individual sounds appearing in my awareness…. attempting to capture each sound individually and was astonished to discover that I had stumbled onto a symphony of singing birds. The result of closing my eyes effectively isolated my hearing, so I had no difficulty picking out a dozen or more birds, all singing to their hearts content. One chirped about forty yards to my left, while several others came from thirty yards directly in front of me, then two others at varying distances just off to my right. Then a soft muffled barking a quarter mile away came into awareness, then another bird that I heard faintly two of three houses down the street, each singing with their own cadence, of course, randomly repeating their calls. Then as if obeying an ancient biological timer, they all began shutting it down for the night in near unison. Within a minute or two the chorus had dropped to just a few before all going silent. It was an incredible thing to experience.

So that was the mental terrain I found myself as I walked outside with the evening drawing down to a close. It had been a beautiful spring day…. and evening, so I fixed myself a drink and sat outside….as I will do, just be a part of the vibe. I was in a peaceful, reflective frame of mind, so I sat down for a few minutes allowing my inner cadence to settle down to match that of the evenings, just casually watching and listening to everything around me. I wasn’t meditating, per se, but was definitely using the evening vibe to work its magic, just to get my strings ‘in tune’, so to speak.

The evening light had nearly extinguished itself when I decided to get up and stroll around a bit, eventually leaning against my car, just taking it all in. That is when something unique occurred and is the reason for this note. While standing there, basking in the gift I had before me, a moth suddenly appeared and fluttered its wings against the left side of my face. It startled me and sure enough, my automatic reaction swatting it away, just as Sully had reacted. The same failure that I had just been writing about immediately came to mind and I silently gave myself a stern talking to, because the moth disappeared, and the moment wasted. I could only shake my head in disappointment at myself.

Well, just a few short minutes later, the month reappeared and was hovering directly in front of me just two feet away, as if hearing my silent pleas. I could only smile at my fortune because this time I was fully aware of the moment and cautiously reached out my hand for it to rest on.

But don’t jump ahead to the punch line just yet because the moth simply would not comply. As I kept positioning my hand right beneath it, virtually forcing the thing to submit to my will, it simply ignored the gesture. So, I recalibrated by re-centering myself and my intentions. I closed my eyes and emptied myself of all expectations and focused only on the present moment. There I stood, with arm outstretched, eyes closed, just clearing my mind…. and after roughly 10 to 12 seconds, I cautiously opened my eyes only to find the moth resting on the tip of my finger, looking in my direction.

Who knows whether it was actually looking at me or not, the visible light spectrum a moth experiences is not the same as ours, but its body was aimed toward me and that was enough. And there it nervously sat as I attempted to cautiously maneuver my left hand to my rear pocket for my phone in order to capture the moment, but my clumsiness disrupted my arm ever so slightly and it took flight, although I was able to capture this shot. It’s quite blurry, of course, after snapping it left-handed, in low light, and the speed of its beating wings left only a blur, but it’s there…..and was a glorious moment to experience.